LInes writing around midnight :-)

Me thinks midnights are the best, For writing poetry and taking rest, Though peaceful days and solitary confinements, Are also engendering and inspiring environments. However take caution oh poet, the muses might refuse to cooperate, Only when you approach in all humility, Will they indeed gratify thee..

Life's little sacrifices

Hmmm....along the way, we often have had to make a few sacrifices. Life's little ones I should say...because in the grand scheme of things, these will apparently have limited importance. Let me try to list out the few sacrifices that I was forced to make:

1. My sony headset. It was an awesome gadget that would literally boom the music into your ears. My faithful companion during my early walking attempts. I didn't even have the time to process the loan request. With two sons firmly intent on making a scrapyard of my technical gadgets, the last thing I wanted to adorn on my ears was my headset. So it went out on a loan...and it has been about a couple of months since then.

2.My reading addiction - Since I am forced to remain addicted to the antics of my sons, my addiction to reading had to be sacrificed. What is the reading that I can manage in the course of a day? Some glances at the headlines...grinning to myself that I have read it all during the night and the early morn on google news. The horoscope section deserves my careful attention. Nowadays, I check my husband's daily horoscope too. Pays well to anticipate the mercurial temperaments of men which curiously seems to parallel the daily predictions. I tried the trick of spreading the newspapers on the dining table whilst I partake of my meals. Of late, my elder twin has developed the habit of sitting on my lap and partaking of my partakings. Classics are consigned to another day, while my collection of Wodehouse and James Herriot are revisited once in a while.

3. Cooking - Yes, I was addicted to cooking (to all those who doubt my culinary skills...ask those fortunate individuals who have partaken of my culinary creations) I was an amateur cook, managing my bachelorette days...but now...I can actually count the number of times I have made the evening tea in the past three weeks...a sure single digit. :-) One baby demanding to be carried, and another baby climbing the dining table chair...you get the picture? So technically, I am banished from the kitchen and have to grit my teeth in agony whilst my husband claims that indulging in culinary experiments relaxes him. :-)

4. My mobile phone - which is perpetually in three pieces. My sons find it fascinating to bang it to the floor, and watch in admiration as the display, the battery and the cover fly into three different zones. Thankfully they are not so bothered about the battery. And while I quickly dive to retrieve it, I can only thank heavens that my phone is a Nokia.

More sacrifices will probably follow...since much is expected from people on whom much responsibility is placed, right?

In His Presence

It is quite sometime since the event has happpened. My initial reaction was plain shock and anger. This shouldn't be happening to someone who had given a direction not just to my life, but to thousands of students like me.
After my twelfth grade, when I was aimlessly flitting around, with neither a perspective nor a direction to my life...the floodgates opened. And I found myself in His Hallowed Presence. And how easy was it to assume that it was going to be one joyride? Turned out to be a roller-coaster instead. Though I told him that I was spreading my dreams under His Feet, and He had to tread softly on them, He assured me that when He was done with me, my dreams would turn to realities. Because, in His Presence, I could script my own story of achievement.
To begin with...I was made to understand that the road towards realising my dreams no hunky-dory affair. There were tests in between...and the worst enemy I would probably face was myself...my doubts would veritably pull me down to the nadirs of despair. And to boot it, I may not be able to realise them within a fixed period of time.
But what was more important was for me to realise that I had the potential. Every time I heard that soft voice addressing me (as a part of the crowd) as an Embodiment of God...I knew...there was no way I was gonna feel defeated...especially when He was the wind beneath my wings.
I realised once night...as I spent my time in the quadrangle of the hostel...that my imagination was my only limit. Soon...things cleared up. Suddenly, I knew that whichever path my life takes...I can be rest assured that He will be there with me. Coming back to the place that had literally shaped me was like returning to my Mother's House. As I used to sit in the Hall and watch Him from a distance...I knew for sure...that He was watching over me as well. He never declared that my life will be free of trials and tribulations. To the contrary, He showed me how to convert every experience of life into a learning experience...a learning experience for the betterment of the soul. This is my story...a story that continues...and must continue. But without Him, will it?
As I sat on the swing in the garden of my house, rocking my elder son to sleep...I remembered the events of the day. And instead of feeling sad...I remembered how in Anantapur, on special occasions, we used to make the Jhoola for Swami, and assume that He was watching, taking part in our Fresher's and Farewell Parties, welcoming us and bidding us Goodbye, assuring us that He will be watching us, for ever. I remembered the last time He had called us into Trayee (2003) and gave us the beautiful message of courage and fortitude. How could He not be there in my life, especially, since He has been and will be the compass for my life? Though I miss Him terribly, His Presence is a given in my life.

A Thank You Note

I tried writing this as a poem...(I don't even know how I conceive of myself as a poet) But this is one of those occasions when prose aids me better.
Two tiny bundles lying by my side...night after night...in peaceful bliss. My priceless diamonds as I call them, I never knew that they were going to come into my life this soon...and thrust on me the sweet responsibilities of motherhood. I don't curse the sleepless nights that I spend...just to be sure that I answer to they calls promptly. And the strange kind of pleasure that I feel in arranging their beds, decking them up for their walks, taking care of their diet and so on and so forth. Two years ago, if anyone had asked me on what motherhood means, my answer in all probability would have been clinical. Trust me on that. But today,...I fall short of words to describe. Yes, I have had to make a few sacrifices along the way..chief among them being the pleasures of my bachelorette days. But then,...the sense of pride that I felt in welcoming my twins has consigned everything else to the closet...never to be opened as of now and for some time to come.

I am indeed honoured and humbled to be called a mother. The first time I heard R mouth 'ammmmmmmaaaaaaaaa' and B following suit..... trust me...my heart skipped a beat. This is it....my proud moment as a mother. Thank you B and R for making my life so beautiful.

Touching Moments

I was reading a novel, lying down next to my twins. I had placed one of my hands on a twin, who had been difficult a while ago, and had brought the house down with his bawling. As I was lost in the memoirs of Sayuri, the geisha, all of a sudden, I discovered that my index finger was not available for turning the page. A quick look, and I found my twin clutching on to my finger with such intense ferocity. He was fast asleep, the very picture of a divine angel. Extricating my finger would mean waking him up. Quick decision. I decided to leave Sayuri alone for the time being and instead, removed my spectacles and settled for a nice nap next to my twin. When I woke up after half an hour, the little chap was still clutching my finger. :-)

Lines written during a boring seminar

I wish I could draw,
And paint and colour,
Or weave tapestries,
Of patterns and flowers.

Or solve riddles,
Seemingly puzzling,
Or get lost in a world,
Of gaiety and singing.

But sigh...I am fated,
To listen to this piper,
Who drones on and on,
And pushes me to sleep forever.

An Incomplete Poem

For an honest smile,
For a happy sigh,
I need but a moment,
A moment that's mine.

For a light step,
And a dance and a skip,
I need but a place,
A place that is mine.

For the moment and the stage,
I search amongst the lanes,
My steps tread towards 'home'
But... nay...this is not the way.