Today, I heard an eminent person take a position on the concept of 'work-life balance'. In fifteen years from now, he hopes that the 'work-life dichotomy will cease to exist' for all the right reasons. Ideally speaking, our work should indeed be our life (in all its visible and invisible manifestations) and our life should be our work (with all the concomitant acknowledgements and citations) and therefore for a man, work-life balance, for all practical purposes may appear to be a false dichotomy. A claim further supported from a capitalistic perspective which places a premium on productivity and efficiency. I reflected for a moment whether it would indeed be possible for me, as a mother, a daughter and a daughter-in law to do away with this dichotomy. The following is a reconstruction of my thought process in this regard.
For the past couple of weeks, I have been engaged in a long drawn-out job of spring cleaning. Not that my house is big and not that I don't have help. In fact, I had to struggle to keep my ever-helpful elderly mother-in-law at a distance before she finally remarked that if I didn't want her to do the job, at least I should maintain proper 'work-life balance'. Nevertheless, the spring cleaning will continue for a few more days because, I am out of the house from 8 am - 7pm everyday (five days a week) and have to catch up with grocery shopping and other chores over the weekend.
Last week, I was unwittingly stuck near Ikea Hyderabad during the evening rush hour. How was I supposed to know about Metro construction work on that stretch and factor that into my travel plans? Such are the moments when I celebrate the presence of Swiggy in my life. As I picked up the delivery ten minutes after reaching my home, I could remember the advice given by a well-intentioned individual - I should try and wake up an hour early in the morning so as to finish cooking dinner as well. This would help me maintain proper 'work-life balance'. And my well-intentioned doctor says that I should try to sleep for at least 7 hours every night.
At around 4 pm everyday, I receive an update from my kids' school about the work they are supposed to complete at home. I check and memorise that to rattle it off to my twins as soon as I put down my work bag and rush into the kitchen to do the chores. And whilst making the Rajma curry, I step in occasionally trying to check whether the chaps are doing the work. (Please refer to this earlier post on my kids' homework and you will get the drift - Dear Ma'am, I'm sorry my twins haven't done their holiday homework) I do this because I know at the end of the day, if SR does miserably in Hindi, it is because his mother is not able to maintain a proper work-life balance.
Everyday, at 4.30pm, SR gives me a call asking whether he can take his cycle to the park. This would be followed by a confirmation call from SB asking if I had indeed given permission for them to take their cycles to the park. Sometimes, I think about work-life balance and wonder if I should disconnect the call. But honestly...would it be worth it?
Last year, as my father-in-law breathed his last in the hospital, I was at my workplace, trying to prove my professional worth. I had made a choice to stay back on that day, because I had to be a 'professional'. In the recent days, I find that I have been consoling myself by recollecting how I did manage to steal a few moments and visited him the night before he went into the last leg of his life's journey. And most importantly, convey that I was indeed there with him, just like on all the earlier occasions when I had accompanied him to the hospital.
So, for a woman like me, work-life balance is just a manufactured chimera thrown at me to explain my 'perceived' inadequacies either on the personal or the professional front. When I look back, I find that I am often negotiating across the various demands and responsibilities placed on me at various points of time. Sometimes, as a woman, I may be judged for my lack of work-life balance. But what matters to me at the end of the day is just tucking SR and SB into the new comforters that I had purchased for them and seeing them sleep peacefully, fully aware that I, as a mother, can provide for them. And sleeping with the thought that the next day, my workplace would see me putting my best foot forward.
So... yes, I tend to agree with this gentleman but for more different, more domestic and more personal reasons.
For the past couple of weeks, I have been engaged in a long drawn-out job of spring cleaning. Not that my house is big and not that I don't have help. In fact, I had to struggle to keep my ever-helpful elderly mother-in-law at a distance before she finally remarked that if I didn't want her to do the job, at least I should maintain proper 'work-life balance'. Nevertheless, the spring cleaning will continue for a few more days because, I am out of the house from 8 am - 7pm everyday (five days a week) and have to catch up with grocery shopping and other chores over the weekend.
Last week, I was unwittingly stuck near Ikea Hyderabad during the evening rush hour. How was I supposed to know about Metro construction work on that stretch and factor that into my travel plans? Such are the moments when I celebrate the presence of Swiggy in my life. As I picked up the delivery ten minutes after reaching my home, I could remember the advice given by a well-intentioned individual - I should try and wake up an hour early in the morning so as to finish cooking dinner as well. This would help me maintain proper 'work-life balance'. And my well-intentioned doctor says that I should try to sleep for at least 7 hours every night.
At around 4 pm everyday, I receive an update from my kids' school about the work they are supposed to complete at home. I check and memorise that to rattle it off to my twins as soon as I put down my work bag and rush into the kitchen to do the chores. And whilst making the Rajma curry, I step in occasionally trying to check whether the chaps are doing the work. (Please refer to this earlier post on my kids' homework and you will get the drift - Dear Ma'am, I'm sorry my twins haven't done their holiday homework) I do this because I know at the end of the day, if SR does miserably in Hindi, it is because his mother is not able to maintain a proper work-life balance.
Everyday, at 4.30pm, SR gives me a call asking whether he can take his cycle to the park. This would be followed by a confirmation call from SB asking if I had indeed given permission for them to take their cycles to the park. Sometimes, I think about work-life balance and wonder if I should disconnect the call. But honestly...would it be worth it?
Last year, as my father-in-law breathed his last in the hospital, I was at my workplace, trying to prove my professional worth. I had made a choice to stay back on that day, because I had to be a 'professional'. In the recent days, I find that I have been consoling myself by recollecting how I did manage to steal a few moments and visited him the night before he went into the last leg of his life's journey. And most importantly, convey that I was indeed there with him, just like on all the earlier occasions when I had accompanied him to the hospital.
So, for a woman like me, work-life balance is just a manufactured chimera thrown at me to explain my 'perceived' inadequacies either on the personal or the professional front. When I look back, I find that I am often negotiating across the various demands and responsibilities placed on me at various points of time. Sometimes, as a woman, I may be judged for my lack of work-life balance. But what matters to me at the end of the day is just tucking SR and SB into the new comforters that I had purchased for them and seeing them sleep peacefully, fully aware that I, as a mother, can provide for them. And sleeping with the thought that the next day, my workplace would see me putting my best foot forward.
So... yes, I tend to agree with this gentleman but for more different, more domestic and more personal reasons.
